You Lub Me!
by theamazingmo
Summary: James is afraid of skating. Sirius is obsessed with 'sourcows'.Remus is an ex'Twirly Dancer' as he has been dubbed by James.A skating lesson with Lily includes a dip in the frozen lake, which of course results in a cold, but a lovely conclusion from James


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Friends, or any of the characters, plot, ect belonging to either

A/N: My first ever one-shot! A lot harder than I thought. Since it's so short, you have to make sure all of it is good! I am a figure-skater, and I thought of this funny little idea while walking home from practice one day. With the inspiration of my friend who has dubbed salchows 'sour-cows', of course. It also lends a bit of the ending towards Friends. The One Where Monica is Sick is what I believe it is called. Anyways...I hope you all like it!

**You Lub Me**

"I don't think I can feel my toes any more." whispered Peter Petigrew.

"That would be because Sirius has been sitting on them for twelve minutes." said Remus Lupin.

"Well, my fingers are also going all tingly. And no one is sitting on them! This snow is sure cold."

The four Marauders were situated behind a clump of sparse bushes on the edge of the lake on the Hogwarts ground. Over the Christmas break, temperatures had plummeted, and the lake was now crowded with Hogwarts students enjoying the leisurly winter activity of ice skating. The Marauders, however, were not brought to the great lake by leisurely activities. Unless however, you were like James Potter and considered stalking Lily Evans a wonderful hobby. James had forced the others to come along as well, which was what usually happened on his Lily Stalking Missions.

"Yeah Prongs, I want to go ice skating! My delicate bottom is going numb just sitting in this snow!" groaned Sirius Black.

"That would involve Lily seeing us, which would result in my death. It would also involve me setting foot on a frozen body of water, yet another thing which would surely result in my death. Is my death what you want Padfoot?" answered James Potter.

"Well...no. But you didn't have to drag all of us along on your 'stalking Evans' outing. Or at least you could have let the rest of us go skating! Besides...I want to practice my arse-hole!"

"Beg pardon Padfoot, but...your arse-hole? What the bloody hell are you talking about?" asked James.

Sirius gave an over-exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Why, you know, one of those twirly things! Remus can do them, he was teaching me last winter!"

Remus blushed and said quietly, "Sirius...what did we say about-"

"And that's not even mentioning clutz's and sour-cows!" Sirius said excitedly. When he received blank looks from his mates he continued. "You know! Those cool tricks that you do on ice skates! You twirl around in the air!" He waved his index finger around in circles as if to prove his point. That was when James' face lit up.

"Oh! You mean the Twirly Dancers! My mum loves to watch those! It's some kind of muggle sport. It's for girls and pansy's though anyways! Why would you want to be practicing that?"

At this remark, Remus seemed to get quite flustered. "It's called figure skating, you dunce!"

"Oh it is, is it? So how come you seem to know so much about it? Teaching Sirius twirly tricks and all?" James asked suspiciously.

"Well I-"

Unfortunately, Sirius cut him off before he had a chance to speak. "Well, duh, Moony here used to be a 'Twirly Dancer'! Didn't he ever tell you that?" Remus shot him a glare. "Oh...I guess not. Sorry mate."

James nearly fell over laughing. "Y-You used to be a Twirly Dancer!"

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "My mum was one, and she insisted on me doing it when I was a kid. And in my defence, I kicked arse! You are speaking-or, should I say insulting the 1970 Southern England Juvenile Men's Gold Medalist!" he spat, his face turning beet red. He took some deep breaths and regained his composure. "And just because you're too scared to set foot on a frozen lake doesn't mean it's a pansy sport!"

Sirius nodded, and swung his arm around Remus's shoulder. "Yeah! I think it would be pretty bloody cool to be able to do a triple sour-cow! I mean, they _twirl_ while in the _air_! It's like magic!" Remus whispered something in Sirius's ear. "Aww who cares how you pronounce it! Stupid bloody Russians and their stupid...words..."

Unfortunately, the boys' shouting had attracted the attention of Frank Longbottom who was skating along with girlfriend Alice, and none other than stalkee, Lily Evans.

"Hey James! What are you guys doing hiding in the bushes?"

"We're not hiding, why would we be hiding. We have nothing to hide or...anyone to hide from." James rattled.

"Oh, of course, you weren't hiding! In that case, why don't you come and join us? It's a lovely day!" Lily said, an evil glint in her eye as she skidded to a stop beside Frank.

James was, at first, ecstatic that Lily Evans had invited him to spend time in her company, but then he realized their situation. Lily would only ever ask James to spend time with her...well...never. That made James Potter come to one, and only one conclusion.

She knew.

She knew of his one and only fear. His fear of ice-skating!

* * *

It had all started at the age of five, when James' parents had taken him out to the pond behind their house in the middle of January. They had strapped tiny little skates onto James' feet and he had been pushed around the frozen pond. James' parents continued to take him outside to the pond every Sunday afternoon that winter. James gradually learned to stand on the pond all by himself, and even started taking small steps. By the end of February, he was gliding around the small surface unassisted. James' parents had always warned him not to ever go out onto the frozen pond alone, but one Sunday afternoon in mid-March, his parents had apparated off to the Ministry because of some special case, and James was left in the care of young Molly Weasly. Her family had lived a few streets over from the Potters, and the thirteen-year-old had been over-joyed at the chance to earn some extra pocket money. However, no matter how good Molly's cookies that she had baked for him tasted, they still did not stop James from wanting to go skating on the pond. James soon suggested a game of hide-and-seek, and the eager new baby-sitter happily obliged. James had scampered out the back door, skates in hand, and had been gliding around the pond for about fifteen minutes when he saw the disgruntled girl trudging through the snow towards the pond. James crossed the middle of the pond, heading towards the edge to meet Molly, when he heard a creak. He kept gliding, but he looked down at the surface below him. He saw cracks in the ice surface gradually grow bigger. Suddenly, James was plunged into the freezing water of the pond. He thrashed about, gasping for air, but the cold stung his lungs. He heard Molly screaming for help, and within seconds, neighbours had apparated to the sight. James was pulled from the frigid water, and suffered nothing more than a fever and a cold, which were easily fixed by magic, and a stern lecture from his father. James had never set foot near a frozen body of water ever again.

* * *

James scowled. "Sirius! You told her!" he growled.

Sirius dropped his jaw in utter shock. "Told her? Told her what dearest Prongsie?"

James rolled his eyes. "Oh as if you don't know!"

Sirius appeared in deep thought for a small amount of time, finger poised on his chin. "Ooooohhh. _That_. Why Prongs, I am shocked to hear that you would believe me capable of betraying your trust like that!" he said, shaking his head from side to side.

"I know you did it Padfoot."

Sirius hung his head. "All right, fine. I did tell her. But only because I was mad at you!"

James looked confused. "Why were you mad at me?"

Sirius scowled. "Because! You stole one of my chocolate frogs! You should know by now James, _Sirius doesn't share food!_"

Little did the two Marauders know-or, perhaps _remember_ would be a better word, that Lily Evans was standing mere feet from them, and could hear their conversation perfectly.

"Potter! Black!" James and Sirius' heads swiveled to face Lily. "Yes, Potter I do know of your irrational fear of ice skating. I shall now use it against you to get revenge for all the years of torment you have caused me."

James smiled in his smug way. "And how, Miss Evans, do you plan on doing that. I don't thing you're strong enough to drag me onto that...that...surface of death!" he ended lamely.

"James Potter, you will go ice skating this afternoon, or it will not only be me that will know of your dirty little secret! Imagine, the great James Potter, afraid of a little leisurely skating! Just think of what it would do to your reputation!"

James let out a pathetic whimper and muttered a 'fine'. Lily grinned. "_Accio skates._"

"James, if you are being forced to go skating with Evans, does this mean the rest of us can also go?" Sirius whispered. James glared at him. "Fine then. No need to get cranky Miss Potter! That time of the month, I see."

Twenty frigid minutes later, Peter, Remus and Sirius had successfully donned their skates, and were gliding around the lake. Or at least, Sirius and Remus were. Peter had fallen down after two steps, and was now crawling around the smooth surface, unable to get up. Sirius soon noticed this. Good friend that he was, he called for Remus' aid.

"Remus, look, he can't get up! Teach him the Fishie Song! Teach him the Fishie Song!"

Remus gave him a pleading look. "Peter is seventeen years old, I don't think that it is really-"

"But it really helps! It really does!"

Remus gave a sigh and plopped himself down on the ice surface next to Peter. He waved his hands in front of him and then on the ice. He then lifted up one knee, placed one hand on that knee, and stood back up. All the while singing:

_Fishies in the water,_

_Fishies in the sea._

_We all get up with a_

_One,_

_Two, _

_Three!_

Peter looked from Remus to Sirius in confusion. "I don't get it..."

Sirius shook his head. "Just do it Pete! It's fun, look!" By now, many people had taken to staring at the sight of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black singing the ridiculous children's song with the ridiculous actions. Sirius had something to say to them. "Go ahead and laugh all you want! It's a very useful educational tool!" Hearing Sirius Black speaking of 'educational tools' only served to feed the fire.

Meanwhile, James was still situated on the bank of the lake, taking as long a time as possible to go up his skates. He had tied and re-tied them several times.

"Potter, I will personally ensure that your feet won't survive the night if you insist on tying those ridiculous things one more time! Get off your arse!"

"But they're too tight..."

"I don't care. Get up!"

"If I die, many people will be very upset!"

"I'm _sure_ that will be the case. Come one, take my hand.

If James wasn't mistaken, Lily Evans had just asked him to hold her hand! And she had asked him to spend time with her all in the space of half an hour! If you didn't count the dangerous threat of being swallowed by freezing water, this was turning out to be a very good day for James Potter.

James grasped Lily's hand and pulled himself up.

He promptly slipped on his heels and fell flat on his bottom. He stared up at Lily's green eyes. To his surprise, she was smiling. God, he loved it when she smiled. She had perfect teeth and perfect lips and-

"Potter! Are you not listening to me at all? Fine! Fend for yourself!" She promptly turned around and glided off towards Alice. James huffed. He heaved himself to his feet, careful not to look directly at the ground. He began to make his way towards Sirius and Remus, who were both practicing various Twirly-Dancing tricks in a corner.

Progress was slow for James. He was determined to stay near the edge, lest the ice crack. Also, not skating in twelve years had quite a large effect on him, as you would expect. He slid one foot in front of the other. He had made his way about half-way to the corner when Lily stopped right in front of him. He yelped in surprise and fell backward.

"Graceful."

"Well-I-you-you just-out of nowhere-what-expect-"

"Oh give it a rest Potter! I am only here because I take pity on you."

"Well it is your fault anyway!"

She turned backwards to face him. "Just shit up and take my hands. I'll help you."

James grasped both of Lily's mittened hands in his own.

"Now, instead of just sliding your feet, push them out to the side," she said. James did as she said, lifting his leg to the side.

Down he went.

"Lily!" he whined, "I thought you were here to help me, not cause me pain!"

"I am! It's not my fault that you are mentally challenged!"

"You told me to push to the side, and I did! It didn't work!"

"Well of course it didn't! You can't push directly to the side, that won't work! Push to the back as well-"

"How do you-"

"If you would just let me finish before interrupting me! Push in between, like on a forty-five degree angle. Try again."

"No. I don't want to fall again! My bottom is tender!"

"Don't be such a baby! I won't let you fall this time!"

James looked down into her eyes. "Promise?"

She smiled. That same smile that always affected James so, "I promise James."

James pushed as she had said, and felt himself leaning far too much forward, far too late. Fortunately, Lily noticed ahead of time, and braced herself for the weight of a seventeen-year-old boy. James crashed into Lily, but instead of knocking her over, he felt her arms around his waist. The side of his head rested on her chest. He smiled as he regained his proper standing position.

"You didn't let me fall."

"Well...I promised."

James noticed that Lily's cheeks were oddly red. He could feel every nerve of his body squirming with happiness. "Cold are we?"

Unfortunately, for James and Lily, someone rather unpleasant noticed the interaction between the two.

Before either of the two teenagers could do anything about it, they were suddenly plunged into the freezing waters of the lake through a perfectly cut circular whole in the surface. They both screamed in shock, and flailed to prevent from sinking into the deep waters. The last thing that James remembered seeing before he went unconscious was flowing strands of red hair in the clear water.

* * *

Hours later, James was lying in a bed in the hospital wing. James had a cold, not that he would admit it though. Potters were strong, they never let such trivial things such as colds bother them. Though his throat was just a bit sore, and his nose was stuffed, so his mouth hung open so he could breathe. And come to think of it, that hacking cough was rather bothersome. He had woken up two hours ago, and was mulling over the last few events he could remember. He realized that many had a lot to do, or, everything to do, with Lily. She had asked him to spend time with her. Well, maybe more like black-mailed, but that still counted. She had held his hand of her own free will. In fact, she had suggested it. Last but not least, she had called him by his first name. _I promise James. _That was what really made James come to the one greatest conclusion he had ever come to.

Lily Evans loved him!

He turned his head towards the stirring sounds he heard in the next bed over. Lily sat up and yawned. She then turned to face him, and smiled. "Feeling alright? I don't know what possibly could have happened to make that ice break. You must just have bad luck."

James sniffed. "Well, I trusd thad you won'd be making me go skading for while!"

Lily pressed her lips together, but could not hold back the snort of laughter.

James scowled. "Whad's so fuddy?"

Lily smiled. "Someone has a cold!"

"Thad's ridiculous! I'm fined!"

She rested her head on her hand. "It's as my mother always says, you know you're not 'fine' when you say you're 'fined.' Poor Jamsie-Wamsie, who ever knew that such a small disease could have this effect on you."

"I'm FINEEE...d. Argh! FINEEE..d! No! I refuse do be sdruck down in de prime ub libe!"

Lily giggled. "Yes, that's it, you've been struck down in the 'prime of libe!'"

James suddenly became very serious. "No, I can'd be sdruck down in de prime ub libe because I made de mosd impodant discovery in my whole libe afder yesterday!"

"And what would that be James Potter?" Lily asked, one of her eyebrows raised.

"Well, that you lub me udcourse!"

Lily looked shocked by these words. "That I-that I..." she let out a noise half-way in between a sigh and a gigle, "That I 'lub' you?"

James nodded proudly. "Yes. You lub me!"

Lily glanced at James Potter's dripping nose before looking into his watery hazel eyes and replying, "Yes, I suppose I do lub you, James Potter. And don't you ever forget it."

A/N: Well...what did you think? Please let me know! **Reviews** highly appreciated!


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